Portugal makes even Greece look like the good student:
So no, not all countries are as bad as Portugal when it comes to getting its shi* together.
4 Likes
We Portugal GV investors can only dream of stats like thisâŚ
Interesting how Americans, Brits, Saffies, etc. are nowhere in the Top 5 applicants for the GGV.
Also note that Greece wants to ignore processing time too - although their delays are nothing like PTâs.
Greece plans to introduce legislation in January 2026 addressing backdated residence permits, according to Migration and Asylum Minister Thanos Plevris.
The proposed reform would calculate validity periods from the cardâs issuance date rather than the application filing date, ensuring residence cards carry the full five-year validity period upon issuance.
The Legend of EUtopia
by Hippopotamousse
Tired of struggling to survive on the barren plains of Desolatia, Primeiro asked all his relatives and friends where he might go to find a better life.
âA few years ago, your second cousinâs auntâs hairdresserâs brother-in-law went to live in EUtopia. Everyone says his life there is pretty great,â came the reply.
âHow do I visit this EUtopia everyone is talking about?â Primeiro asked.
âYou must enter through the Golden Cave,â came the reply.
So Primeiro, on his horse Hora, drove his flock of sheep toward the Golden Cave for 40 days and nights. Finally, when the cave was almost in sight, he came upon the town of Nomadsdorf, and stopped at the tavern for a pint of ale.
âHeaded to the Golden Cave?â asked the barkeep.
âIsnât everyone?â Primeiro replied.
âWord of advice,â the barkeep answered wryly, âbeware of the Cavekeeper. He can be tricky.â
Having already journeyed this far, and having previously met many tricksters on the plains of Desolatia, Primeiro was defiant. He wouldnât let anyone stop him from reaching EUtopia.
The next morning, Primeiro, his horse Hora, and his flock of sheep reached the cave entrance to find a table, beside which lied a stone carving that read:
"GOLDEN CAVE (EUTOPIA ENTRANCE)
ENTRANCE FEE: ONE HORSE
CAVE RULES:
- EACH ENTRANT MUST BRING 5 SHEEP INTO CAVE.
- EACH SHEEP MUST WEAR A GOLDEN COLLAR.
ALL SALES FINAL. NO REFUNDS."
As Primeiro was puzzling over the sign, the Cavekeeper presented with a wide smile. âWelcome to the Golden Cave, the grand entrance to EUtopia!â
âI have come to enter the Golden Cave, but I donât have any golden collars for my sheep,â Primeiro worried aloud.
âNo problem, I can sell them to you at a price of three sheep for one collar,â offered the Cavekeeper.
Fortunately, Primeiro had brought twenty sheep in his herd. Still, he hesitated. âWhy is the entrance to EUtopia a cave? Is EUtopia itself in a cave?â he questioned.
âThe door to EUtopia will unlock for you after five confirmed nights in the cave,â answered the Cavekeeper.
Having journed for forty days and nights already, five more didnât sound so bad to Primeiro, so he exchanged fifteen of his sheep for golden collars, and surrendered Hora the horse to the Cavekeeper, who unlocked the cave door and ushered Primeiro into the cave with his remaining five sheep. Yes, the Cavekeeper might be a tricky guy for some, but the business transaction with him had been smooth, so Primeiro felt no reason for concern.
With an âEnjoy your stay!â the Cavekeeper bid him a cheerful goodbye, swiftly exited, and locked the door.
Primeiro surveyed the inside of the cave. The main room was huge â at least 10 great cathedrals. Inside were ample supplies of flour, grain for his sheep, and firewood. Light streamed in through a small opening at the top of the dome, slowly fading with the day. Exhausted from the journey, and now finally having a place to rest, he fell fast asleep after eating his bread and drinking his ale.
He awoke at first light, found his flock in order, and spent the day tending the sheep, feeding the fire, reading, eating, and drinking. The next two days passed similarly. Finally, on the third day, Primeiro wondered, âwhat did the Gatekeeper mean by âconfirmedâ days in the Golden Cave?â
Primeiro walked back to the cave entrance and knocked on the door. Nothing happened. He knocked some more. Still nothing. He banged on the door with his fists. Finally, the Cavekeeperâs face appeared through a small window drawn open at the top of the gate, behind iron bars.
âWhat is it?â the Cavekeeper questioned annoyedly.
âWhat did you mean by âfive confirmed daysâ? How do I get confirmed?â asked Primeiro.
âThe Caima will confirm your presence,â answered the Gatekeeper.
âWhat in Godâs name is âthe Caimaâ?â Primeiro inquired.
âYou will see,â the Cavekeeper hinted gruffly, and slid the viewing window shut.
Primeiro did not wish to further annoy the Cavekeeper, so he walked back to his camp, fed his sheep, tended the fire, and passed the time as before. He drank an extra bottle of ale to soothe his nerves.
The next morning, Primeiro awoke slowly, then hastily. One of his sheep was missing! From his vantage point in the great room of the cave, only his remaining four sheep were visible. He frantically searched the other cave passages until he came upon a long, dark corridor.
As he proceeded into the corridor, the sound of grunts, growls, and ripping flesh grew louder and louder. Primeiro swallowed his fear, and tiptoed quietly to the end of the corridor. He finally summoned the courage to shine his torch around the corner, only to find a gigantic beast covered in dark fur devouring the remains of his sheep, its golden collar glinting in the torch light.
Suddenly, the beast raised its head, looked at Primeiro, and roared with a terrible force that echoed off the cave walls and into Primeiroâs temples. Primeiro jumped with fright, and fled back to his corner of the cave hall.
âWhat to do? What to do?â Primeiro pondered. He landed on a solution. He gathered all the firewood, cut it carefully with his axe, and assembled it into a fence around himself and his sheep. Finally, the fence was up, and Primeiro passed out from exhaustion.
The next morning, he woke up, and another sheep was missing. Primeiroâs fence had a gaping hole. The wood from the fence had been smashed into small pieces and scattered around the cave.
âWhat to do? What to do?â Primeiro again pondered. He landed on another solution. This time, he spent all day gathering rocks from all over the cave, and piled them at the corridor opening to stop the beast from entering the main room. Finally, the corridor was plugged, and Primeiro again passed out from exhaustion.
The next morning, he woke up, and another sheep was missing. Primeiroâs rock pile had been demolished. Primeiro fell into despair until he suddenly remembered that today was his sixth day in the cave. He ran back to the door and pounded again until the Cavekeeper opened the view slot.
âToday is my sixth day in the cave. I spent five nights here. Let me into EUtopia!â Primeiro demanded.
âYou have only spent three confirmed nights in the cave,â the Cavekeeper answered indifferently. âYou must complete your time in the cave first.â
Before Primeiro could finish uttering âWhat are you talking about?!â the Cavekeeper closed the view slot and disappeared.
Now Primeiro had only two sheep, nobody to talk to, and all he could think was that he shouldnât have trusted the Cavekeeper! Did EUtopia even exist, or was this all a scam? Was it even worth trying to protect the sheep? The beast was just too powerful!
Another night passed, another sheep disappeared, and Primeiro ran back to bang on the cave door again until the Cavekeeper appeared. âWhat is going on?! What is this place?!?!â Primeiro demanded to know.
âYou have spent four confirmed nights in the cave,â the Cavekeeper replied, and closed the view slot.
Primeiro began to suspect that the number of sheep taken was connected to the number of âconfirmed nightsâ, which gave him an idea. Using a small, sharp stone, he carved a star shape into the final sheepâs collar. Now if he ever saw the collar again, he would know who took it.
Night fell, and the last sheep was taken. Primeiro woke up alone. He ran and pounded on the cave door.
The Cavekeeper slid open the slot. âYou have spent five confirmed nights in the cave,â he declared.
âGreat, so I can enter EUtopia now, right?â Primeiroâs eyes shone with anticipation.
âNo,â declared the Cavekeeper coldly. âThe requirement to enter EUtopia is ten confirmed nights in the Golden Cave.â
âBut before I entered, you I could enter EUtopia after spending five nights in the cave!!â Primeiro returned angrily.
âI never said that. The rule is ten nights. Take it or leave it.â
Facing the prospect of the next night in the cave with the beast, alone with no sheep to sacrifice, Primeiro did the only rational thing. âLet me out,â he declared.
The Cavekeeper unlocked the door. Primeiro stepped outside, only to discover a line of strangers and their livestock as far as he could see, waiting to enter the cave. Primeiro followed the Cavekeeper back to his table, upon which he found the golden collar into which he had carved the star.
âThatâs my golden collar!â Primeiro bellowed.
The Cavekeeper pointed to the sign stating âALL SALES FINAL. NO REFUNDSâ. Thereabove, Primeiro noticed the sign now read âEACH ENTRANT MUST BRING 10 SHEEP INTO CAVEâ".
âYou stole my collar! You canât do this!â Primeiro stomped over to the table and shouted. Now everyone in line was looking at him.
The Cavekeeper clapped his hands twice. Two of the largest men Primeiro had ever seen stepped out of a hut behind the table, their faces stern, hands holding swords and shields.
Primeiro knew he was no match for these giants in a fight, so he ran, shouting âYou stole my collar! The Cavekeeper is a con man!â at the top of his lungs. Those waiting in line observed him blankly and continued their snailâs march forward. The armed giants did not give chase, but Primeiro continued to run anyway.
Finally, Primeiro reached the tavern. He now had no sheep, no horse, no golden collars, and little left to trade. He ordered a jug of the tavernâs cheapest moonshine and was drunk within half an hour.
Primeiro noticed the other patrons at the tavern were all headed to the Golden Cave, so he tried to warn them: âThe Cavekeeper is a liar! He changes the rules after youâve entered the cave so he can steal your gold! Thereâs a beast inside the cave that eats your sheep! Donât go there!â
The other patrons were defiant. They wouldnât let anyone stop them from reaching EUtopia. Besides, Primeiro seemed like a negative and annoying person, and his story sounded crazy. They grabbed his arms and legs, dragged him outside, and slammed the door. Primeiro, thoroughly intoxicated, slumped down on a crate outside the tavern.
Beside him sat an old, haggard man. âI was once like you,â the grizzled stranger observed.
âThe Cavekeeper robbed you too?â Primeiro questioned.
âAye, though he is much more powerful now,â the stranger replied.
âWhat can I do now? I have no horse, no flock, no gold â nothing!â Primeiro despaired.
âIf you really must enter EUtopia, there is another way.â The stranger leaned toward Primeiro. âA hard way. You go by sea.â
âNo gold needed?â Primeiro asked.
âNo gold needed,â the man assured.
âThen I will learn to swim,â resolved Primeiro.
THE END
19 Likes
This was amazing, I nominate you for the Nobel-madgate Prize in Literature.
3 Likes
Hippo, is this old, haggard man a composite of any of us or all of us? 
4 Likes
Just had a message from Donald Trump - he says heâll invade EUtopia unless you give him the Nobel-madgate Prize
5 Likes
Was thinking of the 2020-2023 applicants as Primeiro, the 2024 and beyond as the ones standing in line, and the pre-2020 as the grizzled old man.
But if we 2020-2023ers ever get a second chance to do things the right way, and live through the Zodiac ride from Northern Africa, we too might become the grizzled old man.
3 Likes
Generally Iâm against foreign military intervention, but if Trump happened to grab AntĂłnio LeitĂŁo Amaro to put him on trial for his crimes, that wouldnât be the worst thing heâs doneâŚ
4 Likes
I agree! The most heavily weighted datapoint for the award, the stock-market rally, deserves immediate scrutiny because it reflects how capital entered Portugal rather than why Portuguese firms suddenly deserved higher valuations. In 2024 and 2025, changes made to the Golden Visa regime in late 2023 pushed foreign investors away from real estate and into fund structures, particularly âliquidâ funds. Those funds, designed to manage unpredictable inflows and redemptions, allocated heavily to Portuguese public equities. By regulation, at least 60% of the AUM of every Golden Visa qualifying fund must be deployed in Portugal. Open end funds maintain liquidity through purchasing publicly traded stocks and bonds. The result was a sustained, mechanical bid across the domestic market.
This matters because the marginal buyer of Portuguese equities during this period was frequently not a fundamentals-driven investor evaluating earnings growth or competitive advantage. It was an immigration applicant seeking regulatory compliance through participating in an open end fund associated with Portugalâs Golden Visa program. Visa-motivated demand inflated market indices, and those inflated indices were then treated by The Economist as evidence of economic outperformance.
That is a fragile feedback loop.
The Economistâs data points are not wrong, but the interpretation is incomplete, erroneously celebratory, and already being deployed to attract additional foreign capital without grappling with the underlying risks. The 2025 ranking captures a moment of policy-driven capital concentration rather than evidence of a durable shift in Portugalâs economic fundamentals. Capital motivated by immigration incentives behaves differently from capital motivated by productivity or yield, and it exits on different triggers.
6 Likes
Can you please share The Economistâs data or article?
Sure!
https://www.economist.com/finance-and-economics/2025/12/07/which-economy-did-best-in-2025
Non-paywall version here: https://archive.ph/e9GLU
4 Likes
No, the joke was a deus-ex-machina fantasy of accountability for Portuguese government leaders. No connection to what happened yesterday or Trumpâs actions domestically.
This is not a US politics thread. Please refrain from turning it into one.
5 Likes
You turned it into a âpolitics threadâ when you glibly and carelessly suggested action by a modern day Hitler! Your inability to âread the roomâ could use a dose of enlightenment!
Modern day Hitler is not even in the same league of âmodern day Salazarâ where foreign investors rights with their 500k upfront investment are taken away brutally.
1 Like
Nope, not taking this bait.
2 Likes
Getting the email last night from our lawyer suggesting in their opinion that we can submit an early application for citizenship, even though our 5-year anniversary isnât until September, has dredged up a whole host of emotions. While we heard of this particular interpretation through other investorsâ legal firms, we had not given it any thought whatsoever due to the seemingly far off distance of our anniversary date.
We are always happy to have more data and options on the table, but this really was unexpected news. Guess weâve got a lot of discussing and number-crunching in our immediate future. 
1 Like
Interesting. What was their interpretation of the issue, and how did they suggest going about it?
This is what I posted in another thread. I think they are suggesting to do this before the new law comes into effect. Comes with the risk of it being rejected as well as many more months/years of grief and uncertainty.
Assuming the best of intentions, are any of the firms suggesting this path offering to submit the applications for free? That would feel like an honest way to test this theory theyâre all now pushing clients toward. Very valuable clients.
2 Likes
Wouldnât a no win, no fee scenario be great?
4 Likes