FELIZ NATAL DE AGUARDA ENVIO
‘‘Twas a few nights before Christmas, and all through the nation
Not an AIMA staff was stirring, nor any application;
The files were piled in corners without care
Stealing hopes that applicants could soon locate there;
The families long restless from belongings in boxes
Every media source squawking politics, toxic
And mamma with her scowl, and me my grimace,
Had grown tired of discussing this 18-month impasse.
When out on the SEF screen arose such a sight,
I blinked three times just to be sure it was right.
“Aguarda Envio,” the webpage declared,
In stark opposition to what had always been there
Since time immemorial, since the lockdowns just lifted
Had something in an AIMA office finally… shifted?
Showed it to wifey to confirm I was lucid;
To any Portuguese I must have sounded so stupid
Repeating the words slowly, slow-ly like a child,
My wife looking on, half-bemused, half-beguiled.
“Aguarda envio”, its meaning not springing to mind,
I clicked on English, some clarity hoping to find.
But the English displayed the idea no clearer,
So I searched NomadGate, and got somewhat nearer.
“Aguarda envio” means AIMA wants something!
Could it again be time to go paperwork hunting?
“What do they want?!” I scrolled up and down the page,
In my chest grew the rumblings of apostille rage.
But if this were finally, finally the end of the trek,
I might even have patience for one more FBI check.
After several minutes of finding no indication,
I called my attorney to relieve my fixation.
She answered my query with a “you see…”, and already,
I could feel what was coming, my legs twitching, unsteady,
“AIMA’s been upgrading their system so lame,
So all the statuses, they now show just the same
Now, Porto! Now, Faro! Now, Azores and Lisbon!
On Coimbra, on Guarda, on Portimão, and Lisbon (again)!
From the 2019s, to those who submitted this May,
‘Aguarda Envio’ is the only status on display.”
So this Christmas, to all the embittered, I say
Fear not, ARI holders, your status is safe
Fret not, ye biometrixed, your cards still await
It may take the rest of your natural life,
But they’ll all die lazy while we survive out of spite!
“Aguarda Envio” to all, and to all (except AIMA and any Portuguese politician) a good night!